Here is a really nice pasta recipe. Nice simple flavour entertains my family every time.

It’s perfect for summer meal. This is also a good dinner recipe when your family members are a bit sick or tired.

– Makes 4 serves –

• Spaghetti - 350g
• Bacon - 4 slices - cut into small strips
• Cherry Tomatoes - 16 - cut into halves
• Mushrooms - half cup - sliced
• Garlic - 2 cloves - finely chopped
• White wine - 4 table spoon
• Olive oil - small amount
• Lemon - half - juiced
• Salt to boil pasta and taste
• Pepper to taste

<optional>

• Avocado - 1 - cut into pieces
• Cheese to garnish
• Parsley to garnish

– Method –

1. Cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until al dente.
2. While pasta is cooking, heat olive oil in a frying pan, cook bacon strips, tomato halves, mushroom and garlic.
3. Add white wine to the bacon mix.
4. Keep 1/4 cup of pasta boiling water and drain the rest.
5. Add the pasta and the pasta water into the frying pan.
6. Mix in lemon juice and taste with salt & pepper.
7. <optional> Mix in avocado pieces.

So, I decided to pay more attention to ‘now’ moments to enjoy more of them. I am pretty happy at the moment by having a simple life. Hopefully it continues for a long time.

It seemed there are many people who have been doing the same thing. Why am I here? What do I want to do with my life? These kinds of questions are hard to answer. Yet many of us still try to find it. When they do find it, their lives become more meaningful and they will gain an inspired life.

I haven’t yet to find it but as a first step of my learning curve, there is something from my readings that’s stuck in my head for weeks. Maybe, this is a message to link to my untapped area of self development. If you are not sure about your life purpose, this is an interesting book to read - What should I do with my life? by Po Bronson - and here is the sentences that’s stuck in my head.

The other day I had a chance to think about my life purpose again, then what I had since my twenties appeared so outdated. It used to describe what’s important to me in life, but it doesn’t suit me anymore.

Life purpose can change as you grow up

This was my new discovery. I didn’t know that a life purpose could change. It changes when you grow up (in terms of improvement, not physical growth), or when your purpose is met, or possibly for many other reasons.

My moral and ethcal perspectives have changed a lot over the last few years so it’s not really surprising that what I think important had changed.

So, again, I’m in search for my life purpose. In the process, I want to focus on listening to my mind & soul by shuting down external influences as much as possible, so that I can be ‘true me’. Hopefully, the true me can tell me what I really want to do with my life. I will cut down my internet usage too since it leads to external influences on me. So I will be blogging less often untill my mind clears itself and find its place.

It’s a journey of life. I decided to enjoy this process.

We are living in a time poor era. Somehow we are haunted by chores of various sorts.  Abundance of time is what we dream of. I’m sure that if you are given a bunch of free time you’ll enjoy it and use it as productive (or unproductive) as possible.

When I do occasionally get those free times, I try to plan how I want to use those times. Often I choose to be productive and plan lots of things to do within that time frame, such as organizing a catch up with old friends who live far from me or do a complete garden makeover. When I succeed to spend the time efficiently, I feel so good and satisfied.

However, those free times don’t always come with a notice in advance. They visit me when I am least expecting. When that happens I just get blinded. I know there are lots of things I’ve been thinking about doing, but I just end up standing there, not knowing where to start.

So I’ve been looking at everyday activities in my life and asking myself if there are better way or more efficient way of using time and doing the house chores.

For an example, I spend lots of time in the kitchen. Most of the time I’m holding my baby in one arm and using the other arm to do the kitchen work. There are limited activities that one arm can handle, and carrying the extra weight (of the baby) makes it even harder. If every kitchen items are placed at the level of my free arm, it would be lots easier. but that’s simply not possible. so I thought about activities I do in the kitchen, in terms of how often, how important, how hard to complete those activities, and how I can make those activities easier for me. One thing became clear was that most of the time when I’m in the kitchen, I make tea or coffee. That happens many times a day. The hardest part of the simple activity is when I grab milk out of the fridge because the milk is placed on the bottom shelf of the fridge door. That makes me to squat to get it as if I’m touching the floor. Maybe this little squat is OK to do once or twice a day, but it happens rather often than that. so it doesn’t make sense to have milk at the bottom shelf and have a tomato sauce at my arm level because I use milk several times a day and I hardly use tomato sauce (maybe once in every few weeks). It was easy decision to swap the location of those items in the fridge but until that location change, I didn’t see that the original location was inefficient. I guess it wasn’t a conscious decision when I first placed milk where it was.

When I buy a fridge next time I would probably buy one with fridge-on-top-of-freezer style because the fridge is at my arm level and I use fridge more often than freezer. If I think about how many times a day I have to bend over to get an item from the fridge, the current style of fridge (freezer on top of fridge) seems a bit stupid.

Similar changes I’m going to make in the kitchen are where cookware goes in the cupboard especially heavy items like cast iron pans. Every time I pull them out of the cupboard - again, from the bottom shelf - my back cries. It happens again when I put them away after washing up, back to the bottom shelf. They don’t make sense to be there!!

It reminded me a kitchen-product-demonstrator at a shop while ago. She was demonstrating a hand sized chopper, that chops veggies in small pieces very easily with a few palm pushes instead of a hundred cuts of knife. One of the viewers asked her that the chopper does everything a food processor does, what’s the point of buying her chopper if you have a processor. She asked the viewer “How often do you actually get the food processor out of your cupboard and actually use it?” The viewer said “never”.

If that’s happening in your kitchen or like my situation - backache comes with casserole dinner - is happening, it doesn’t make sense does it? We don’t consciously think about what we are doing when those things become a habit. I certainly didn’t think about my backache until the pain builds up and it needs a session of remedial massage.

I’m not saying I’m going to leave every cookware on the kitchen bench, because that will cause a broken window situation and it won’t be efficient. What I’m saying is the importance of this question: “Why you are doing what you are doing in the way you are doing” - This is what most of us forget to ask ourselves. If you want to live consciously, this is a starting point.

When I finish organizing my kitchen, I’d probably work on my computer desk, then living room and the rest of the house. I can think of so many items out of order, causing inefficiency and waste of lots of time. No wonder I rarely feel the satisfaction of the efficient time usage.

“Pregnancy is the silence before the storm. Be prepare yourself.”

I didn’t know the storm was coming…

During the pregnancy, everyone including the mother-to-be goes into “happy-mode”. Expecting a new baby is so exciting for all of us. We all look forward to the day that the baby is born. Then it even gets happier when the bub is finally arrived. What we tend to forget or ignore is that the chaos starts with the new baby too!!

Being mother is a tough job. Every new mother struggles for the first three months. I said three months, but that’s after nine month of pregnancy. If the pregnancy wasn’t easy, it really hits you.

I didn’t know that being mother was this tough. I managed to survive the first three months but there is still some traces of the storm. Based on my experience, Being mother is like:

Wanting to have a good rest but you somehow cannot sleep deeply. You always hear your little one while you sleep - you automatically become a light sleeper whether if you like it or not.

The light sleep feels like 20% of you is always awake. When you are not sleeping, it feels like 10% of you is always tired. You cannot win!!

What’s more is your mind is always going to be about your baby. You worry about your precious one all the time. Unfortunately, this is what it’s like to be a parent. Your worries will never go away. So, it’s better to get used to it rather than fight against it.

Advices from experienced mothers

You might be thinking how other mothers coped with this chaos. No.1 advice from them to new mothers is always this: take ‘me-time’ when you can. Arrange one day a week or even an hour or two, dedicate time only to yourself. You get to forget (at least try to forget) about your baby and take care of yourself. Do anything you want. The time is for you to spend for whatever you like and however you like.

In my ‘me-time’, I usually go to the library and immerse myself in the book world. Walk in the every aisle and pick up some books that have interesting titles. Skim through those books and if the contents are still interesting, I borrow them to take home with me. If you are a book lover, you’ll understand how much help that books can offer you to reduce stress.

Exercise is another good way of using ‘me-time’ but there is not much exercise you can do if you can’t get someone else to look after your baby. But don’t give up!! Take it easy and start from small & gentle exercise like walking in the morning with your bub in a sling or pram.

Until your baby starts to sleep through the night, broken sleeps make you very tired. You are tempted to get high dose of sugar and caffeine. I know I had lots of them to keep me going throughout the day, but they actually make you more tired at the end of the day. Try to drink water instead, I drink warm water when it’s cold (instead of warm coffee). Herbal teas are good alternative too.

Rest, rest, rest and rest.

Tired heads don’t have enough focus. Don’t worry too much about it. I know there are dishes to wash, laundry to do, dinner to cook… If you can find shortcuts to do your house chore, use them as much as possible. Those jobs don’t have to be done perfectly, just try to do little by little. If you try to do everything perfect or keep the house spotless, you won’t get anything done. Instead of the perfection, try to aim for “done for the day” status. Babies survive better in the less than spotless environment. Having enough rest is more important than the perfectly clean house. It’s not the end of the world if you have toast for dinner!!

Don’t give up!

Yes, it’s tough to be a mother. but think about all other mothers who survived. If they can do it, you can do it too. Focus on the up side when it’s tough. Don’t forget that precious little one loves you so completely!! It’s all worth it!!

I have mum-friends who are looking for job(s). Some of them are currently working but they don’t like their jobs so looking for something better, the others are simply unemployed and need something (anything) to make the ends meet.

It’s sad to see people who are struggling to find a job especially those who I think are very good workers and very smart. It’s also sad to see people who are in the less-than-minimum working condition but have no choice but to stay in that job.

What makes a job ideal? It’s depends on what each person thinks important. High pay, flexible hours, lots of holidays etc. The thing is, the chance that you find your ideal job in the advertised jobs is pretty low. You might be happy to get a job at start, but sooner or later, you’ll find it stressful and dream about next holiday, or you’ll find yourself feeling empty at the end of the day.

One of the easiest solutions to that is starting your own business because you can actually make a job ideal, however you want. That’s easier said than done. Most people don’t know how, and don’t want the hassle to start from scratch. It is much easier to do tasks that’s given in front of you, instead of creating tasks that you don’t know if they are valuable to… well, unknown target. Starting out your own business sounds very risky so far. Especially when it’s hard to judge what business is in demand to be successful. But is working for someone else really safer? Maybe not. You could be asked to leave… pretty much any time. Can you afford to lose a job just because your CEO decided your position is no longer required? Can your savings cover your expenses for unknown amount of time just because someone didn’t like you at work? If you think this way, having an ordinary job isn’t much riskier than starting your own business is it?

Ideal job, I don’t know what that is for me right now. But when I figure it out, it’s worth looking at having my own business in that field… some day.

My husband (being a man) missed the meat a lot. He didn’t have to follow my diet but he did it for me. We stopped buying the meat for cooking. His only chance to eat his beloved meat was when he bought meals outside the house, particularly weekend lunch in the food court was a bit of entertainment for him. Whenever I asked him what he bought for lunch, he replied with our running gag, “The meat cannot be named”.

The other day, a surprising change happened in my opinion. I thought it’s OK to eat it. I mean, it’s not something I eagerly go and buy, but I felt it’s OK to eat it occasionally. It’s simply food that we get our energy from.

As soon as I gave my husband a go sign, he planned a meal with “the meat cannot be named” in it. It was Thai green curry. Curry is one of my favorite meal. As I ate it, I felt nothing horrible about it. I guess that’s because the meat in the meal didn’t directly relate to the kill. My brain had been programmed to disconnect from the kill. That’s sad but it’s true. It’s been happening to many of us. Brains of most people are programmed to ignore about the kill. When they buy meat from the shops, they only think about the meat as food, not the kill. Human beings are selfish creatures if you think like that. What’s worse is, instead of appreciating the kill for our energy, we eat lots of other food that shorten our lives. Coffee, chocolate and processed food are only examples. I’m one of the very selfish human beings too.

What is your point of view?
It’s important to enjoy our food to enjoy our lives. But maybe, we’ve forgotten to appreciate what’s behind the food we eat. We don’t have to be vegetarians, but we ought to be conscious about our actions. What do you think about the food you eat?

“I must be tired from taking care of the baby.” I thought. So I booked in an hour massage. Surprisingly, it didn’t feel nice. I used to LOVE massage and couldn’t have enough, but not this time. It felt ticklish. That means my muscles weren’t tired. They didn’t need massage. I was confused.

What’s going on with me!?

Baby blue? Maybe. I did a bit of research and found out about postnatal nervous breakdown.

Nervous breakdown isn’t a medical name that explains particular symptoms. But I think I’ve got it. What I was experiencing was:

• Less facial expressions
• Vague feeling for everything I do
• Slow to respond in a conversation
• Lack of interests
• Loss of focus
• Light sleeping
• Forgetful
• Cranky with the little things
• Not feeling like to go out
• Not feeling hunger or full

In a nutshell, I wasn’t feeling like myself. It really felt like “floating”.
Apparently, this breakdown is more likely to happen on perfectionists. Yes I am one of them. I knew it didn’t do good for me, but I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t know what to do with it. The arrival of the baby triggered the breakdown because it’s almost impossible to keep my standard high (perfect) for everything I do, with a big change like a new baby.

So, I started doing something about this breakdown. I needed ways to “ground myself” instead of feeling floating. My earthy activities include:

1. Taking walks
2. Watching TV
3. Shopping
4. Meeting with people

and of course getting plenty of rest.

I changed my living environment too.
First thing in the morning, I open up windows to get fresh air in. Open curtains & blinds to get lots of natural lights. It’s a simple change but it gives me energy to start a new day. I can feel the difference.

Also, the perfectionist part of me needs to change. Because it only causes more stress than necessary. What helped me was an article from Steve Pavlina. He has very helpful insight. If you are a perfectionist or a new mum who is experiencing the “floating” feeling. It’s worth a read. I’m on the way to get myself back. http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2011/02/completion-vs-perfection/

Today, I bought a commercial mix of Date Loaf from Basco. Here are the pictures.

You need 1 egg, 150ml water, 60g butter to bake a 22 x 11cm loaf. The taste wasn’t too bad. It’s extremely easy to make, just mix all the ingredients with a wooden spoon and bake in a tin. Parents can enjoy making it with young kids. It’s an easy way of entertain children and treat yourself at the end